There have been many discussions in this group about not offering unsolicited advise to other players. I’m going to go against the grain here and say, when I see someone struggling for weeks and months and making the same bad shot over and over again, I DO give advice. I’m today I was…

…watching a fellow player during our weekly game, and I noticed their persistent challenge with a particular shot. Despite their efforts, they kept employing the same technique that had led to several missed opportunities before. It was clear that frustration was mounting, both for them and possibly for their teammates who were waiting to get back in the game.

I understand the consensus in our group about not offering unsolicited advice; it stems from a respectful desire to foster an environment where players feel free to learn at their own pace. This approach is vital, as the pressure of unsolicited feedback can sometimes lead to even more frustration or self-doubt. However, there’s a fine line between respecting autonomy and witnessing someone struggle without offering a lifeline.

After watching them attempt the same shot for what felt like the hundredth time, I approached them during a break. I prefaced my suggestions by acknowledging their hard work and effort, emphasizing that I had faced similar struggles in the past. This way, my intention was to connect on a shared experience rather than to critique. I offered a couple of simple adjustments that had helped me in similar situations.

To my relief, they responded positively. The look of determination in their eyes was palpable, and they thanked me for stepping in. When they returned to the game, they employed the adjustments we had discussed and, lo and behold, their shot improved significantly! Watching their excitement after successfully making the shot was a rewarding moment.

This experience reaffirmed my belief that sometimes, a little guidance can go a long way, especially when it’s clear someone is genuinely struggling and is open to help. It’s not about taking away their agency or undermining their journey; it’s about offering a supportive nudge.

Going forward, I plan to continue this approach, always being mindful of the cues from others. Ultimately, it’s about fostering a supportive community where we can all learn and grow together—sometimes through trial and error, and sometimes with a bit of constructive advice offered in friendship. After all, we are all here to enjoy the game and improve, and if I can help in that process when needed, I will.